2018/5/4 14:58:00
南阳翻译公司经验分享：个人陈述文书几大雷区
去美国留学，写好个人陈述也是很关键的一个部分，乐文南阳翻译公司小编为大家整理个人陈述文书几大雷区，各位小伙伴们记得巧妙避开噢~
一、学校介绍型
I am an undergraduatein…University , the largest university anda cradle ofscientific and technological talents in China.
点评：该同学的个人陈述开头等于是一个申请学校的简介，这好像是在帮助学校做宣传，或表达你有多了解该学校，而不是写个人陈述了。这是没有意义的开头，白白浪费了字数，最容易被秒据掉。
二、救世主型
I am a problemsolver. I have an impulse as a kind of instincts to solvevarious problemsbefore me and enjoy doing that. Since I was a little boy, a voice fromPresident Franklin Roosevelt has constantly hovered around my mind, "Theworld can be changed by man's endeavor, …
点评：一副救世主的形象，小时候就受富兰克林的影响，立志改变世界。个人陈述的写作一定要个人化具体化，别吹大牛，甚至带着一种霸权主义思维。
三、重复简历型
I earned my Bachelorof Science degree in … Sciences with a specializationin … in 2002 at … university
点评：美国留学个人陈述不要去重复简历中的东西，这在很多学校的PS要求中明确提到，个人陈述的写作要具体到事件上，事件解决上，而不要单纯重复已有的内容。
四、抄袭句式型
As a student majoringin Computer Science, I began my odyssey since I entered undergraduate program.Indeed, having entered this splendid computer world, I am more than greedy forsomething new.
点评：Odyssey 和more than greedy for something new 这种句式不知道是从哪里学到的，很多同学在用。但你要知道，老外最恨抄袭，最喜原创，所以利害关系大家想想吧。
五、言幼稚型
'Why the gecko canclimb on the wall while we can't-' 'Why the leaves turn red in autumn' 'Howmany stars are there in the sky-' When I was in childhood, I always kept askingmy mom all kinds of questions。I am especiallyinterested in how things work, I can even take apart things for several hoursin order to find out its principle.
点评：上来就回忆童年少年自己如何有着远大抱负，who cares。个人陈述字数有限，却用这么多话描述童年，没有任何意义。学校想知道你如何看待未来，而不是如何度过过去。
六、犹抱琵琶型
Making a rightdecision at the right time is very important for a young people .At present, Ihave come to a critical point in my life when I have to make a decisionconcerning my future course of action. Only a perceptive understanding ofoneself will enable one to chart his proper action. Aftercarefully thinking,reviewing my life and analyzing my personality, I make the determination andchoose to apply for graduate study in XXX. And I choose to specialize incommunications which I will pursue a lifelong career.
点评：重点放在自己要做重大决定上了，人生的转折点，然后来上句所谓名言警句。浪费字数，有限的字数里，同学们应该学会直接，并且抓住重点，突出自己最有优势的方面，最有特色的方面。
一、学校介绍型
I am an undergraduatein…University , the largest university anda cradle ofscientific and technological talents in China.
点评：该同学的个人陈述开头等于是一个申请学校的简介，这好像是在帮助学校做宣传，或表达你有多了解该学校，而不是写个人陈述了。这是没有意义的开头，白白浪费了字数，最容易被秒据掉。
二、救世主型
I am a problemsolver. I have an impulse as a kind of instincts to solvevarious problemsbefore me and enjoy doing that. Since I was a little boy, a voice fromPresident Franklin Roosevelt has constantly hovered around my mind, "Theworld can be changed by man's endeavor, …
点评：一副救世主的形象，小时候就受富兰克林的影响，立志改变世界。个人陈述的写作一定要个人化具体化，别吹大牛，甚至带着一种霸权主义思维。
三、重复简历型
I earned my Bachelorof Science degree in … Sciences with a specializationin … in 2002 at … university
点评：美国留学个人陈述不要去重复简历中的东西，这在很多学校的PS要求中明确提到，个人陈述的写作要具体到事件上，事件解决上，而不要单纯重复已有的内容。
四、抄袭句式型
As a student majoringin Computer Science, I began my odyssey since I entered undergraduate program.Indeed, having entered this splendid computer world, I am more than greedy forsomething new.
点评：Odyssey 和more than greedy for something new 这种句式不知道是从哪里学到的，很多同学在用。但你要知道，老外最恨抄袭，最喜原创，所以利害关系大家想想吧。
五、言幼稚型
'Why the gecko canclimb on the wall while we can't-' 'Why the leaves turn red in autumn' 'Howmany stars are there in the sky-' When I was in childhood, I always kept askingmy mom all kinds of questions。I am especiallyinterested in how things work, I can even take apart things for several hoursin order to find out its principle.
点评：上来就回忆童年少年自己如何有着远大抱负，who cares。个人陈述字数有限，却用这么多话描述童年，没有任何意义。学校想知道你如何看待未来，而不是如何度过过去。
六、犹抱琵琶型
Making a rightdecision at the right time is very important for a young people .At present, Ihave come to a critical point in my life when I have to make a decisionconcerning my future course of action. Only a perceptive understanding ofoneself will enable one to chart his proper action. Aftercarefully thinking,reviewing my life and analyzing my personality, I make the determination andchoose to apply for graduate study in XXX. And I choose to specialize incommunications which I will pursue a lifelong career.
点评：重点放在自己要做重大决定上了，人生的转折点，然后来上句所谓名言警句。浪费字数，有限的字数里，同学们应该学会直接，并且抓住重点，突出自己最有优势的方面，最有特色的方面。